Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Crisis of Epic Proportions

Today I had to go to a Take Care Clinic because my left ear was inexplicably experiencing stabbing, shooting pains. It hurt. A lot. Turns out I have an ear infection. So back on antibiotics I go. Give me a few more years and I will have no resistance whatsoever and end up dead because nothing will be able to treat one of my myriad infections.

On a fun note, the nurse did tell me my nose and ear passages are "exceptionally" narrow. Well! At least I am exceptional at something! But alas, this seems to be part of my problem, and why I am so good at build-up of fluids and bacteria. So I think I will be scheduling a visit to an ear, nose, and throat doctor at some point in the next few months.

But this is not my crisis. We did decide to end 2009 on a high note and put in an offer on a house, which is sending me into all sorts of panic attacks and self-doubt and fear of parental disapproval (yes, I still crave parental approval, even at the advanced age of 34 years, 10.5 months). So we'll see how that all works out, and if I get any sleep at all between now and a contract or us walking away because we can't get to a price we can live with.

But this is not my crisis, either. No, my crisis is far more gritty, far more upsetting, and dare I say it, even a bit more stressful than shooting ear pain and panic attacks from house offers.

My crisis is jeans.

Specifically, my one and only pair of jeans that fit. I have four pairs of jeans. Three are Gap Essential fit (no longer made), which I don't really like anymore. One pair is two sizes too big, two are one size too big and must be hitched up constantly and are far too big in the crotch. Yes, I said crotch, even though I hate that word.

Quick math shows me that one pair of jeans remains. That would be my Ann Taylor Loft Curvy Boot Fit in Daylight Wash. I capitalized it all because of their sheer awesomeness. They are the one pair of jeans I have ever owned that while they may stretch everywhere else, do not stretch in the waist. Hence, no hitching them up after an hour or so of moving in them. Since I have to walk rather than be conveyed via litter this is an important trait for jeans to have. I've tried on jeans everywhere else and have yet to find anything that fits as well as the Curvy Bootcut from ATL.

So, I had considered buying a pair of back-up jeans when I had an ATL $25 rewards card. I dilly-dallyed, obsessed over shipping costs, and when I finally decided to buy they were sold out in my size. Argh! Now the Daylight Wash is clearanced out, never to be had again. I die.

In the meantime I carried on with life. Today I came home from the doctor and guess what...the zipper broke way down at the bottom. I will take it to a tailor to get it fixed, but that still means at least five days without a pair of jeans. Eeek!

Like any rational person I turned to the internet to see what I could so. I learned that Daylight Wash may be no more, but Tulip Wash now exists! Sure, it is lighter and has some whiskering, but it could still work. But it seems ATL has changed their sizing. They no longer offer 2-14, now it is 24-32. I wonder...what else changed? Is it just to make the jeans seem more expensive? Why the different numbering? What is going on?

Now, I would go to a store and try these on, but neither store in Tucson has them in stock in a 32. Nor does any store in Phoenix, and yes, Jake was willing to go up there so I could get a pair. Instead I will have to order online.

Which brings me to a conundrum that impacts how I shop online. Clearly I will get the zipper fixed on my jeans. The need for a second pair has been impressed upon me as well. But I am a cheapskate: I cannot abide paying shipping. I managed to find a coupon code, but any savings are quickly eaten up by shipping costs. Plus, this is an unknown for me. I am one of those people who takes as many pairs of the same size and style of jeans into the dressing room as possible, because as we all know, they all fit differently. So I feel compelled to order multiple pairs, which further drive up the shipping cost. And then, some will inevitably be returned to the store, which means lost money. Shipping costs! They are the bane of my online shopping existence.

But I am a realist and know I will cave. I will order a few pairs, get my existing pair fixed, and know that I have been taught a lesson: always have back-up on hand, and suck it up and pay for shipping when the item you want is in stock and on sale.


  1. I have an almost unworn (not entirely true -- I think I've worn them 4 times, washed twice) pair of Essential Fit jeans. They were not the fit I was looking for but couldn't return them when I figured that out. What size do you wear? I think based on previous posts we might be close in size/inseam.

  2. Is there still that "looking for" area on Ebay? Maybe some one has a pair of your old Ann Taylor's that they want to sell? Or maybe Craigslist too?

  3. I would consider that a crisis, too. Happy New Year, feel better, and I hope you find some great jeans soon.


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